Living healthy erotic relationships involves doing it with pleasure, knowing yourself, valuing yourself, choosing what, how, when and where, saying what you want and what you don’t, and having adequate information to do it without risks.
For the couple to enjoy sex to the fullest and in a healthy way, Francisca Molero, vice president of the Spanish Federation of Sexology Societies (FESS) and co-director of the Barcelona Institute of Sexology, proposes worrying about having good self-esteem, communicating with the partner and learn new sexual knowledge Seattle BDSM.
Other experts give the following advice:
1) Take care of your health
For satisfactory sexual relations, the absence of fatigue and stress is important, as well as medical problems ( testosterone deficiency , depression , taking a drug that inhibits sexual desire, etc.).
“The practice of physical exercise on a regular basis is a enhancer of our libido , since it improves the production of testosterone and allows good emotional self-regulation,” says Vicente Briet , director of the Vicente Briet Center and member of the Spanish Federation of Sexology Societies. (FESS).
2) Discover what you like
To enjoy as a couple, “I first have to know myself well, know how my eroticism works, my body, what excites me, etc.,” says José Luis Casado Santamaría, sexologist and therapist at the SENSO Sexological Center in Valladolid .
“If each member of the couple has this erotic self-knowledge – he continues – the encounter between them will be much more fruitful and pleasant. Communication, trust and intimacy between both are also vital here.”
3) Let yourself go
Santiago Frago, doctor, sexologist and professor of the Master of Sexology at the Camilo José Cela University , points out that “for a couple to enjoy their art of loving and the pleasure of their encounter, there is no more secret than letting oneself be carried away by the desire of the encounter, dedicate time to love and space to eroticism.”
4) Innovate
Over time, Briet states that some stimuli lose effectiveness. “The solution lies in the continued exploration of stimuli of any type (visual, tactile, auditory, olfactory, etc.). Also due to the decontextualization of sexual relations and the search for alternatives (varying the context, habits, postures and rhythm, among others).”
5) Know that intercourse is just an option
Casado rejects the idea of a finalist sexuality, where everything is done for an end, which is intercourse and orgasm, and everything before is secondary. “This is the result of an excessively genital idea of sexuality.”
“ Our sexual organ is the entire body, not just the genitals . Intercourse is an option, but it doesn’t have to be the only one to enjoy with your partner. In fact, intercourse, when considered the essential element for sex, causes many problems, such as anxiety. You have to learn to play other things,” Casado recommends.
The expert assures that there are couples who, at certain times, have less intercourse but do not stop kissing, holding hands, sleeping embraced and naked, and, to a large extent, remain satisfied on an erotic level.
6) Commit to a healthy relationship
The absence of conflicts within the couple’s relationship is one of the best predictors for improving sexual health. You have to take care of your partner. And the fact is that, for some people, sexual relations with their partners have long been an obligation , more than a source of pleasure and satisfaction.
“One unsatisfactory experience after another usually leads to a loss of sexual interest, if not a rejection of one’s own partner,” highlights Briet.
7) Have a positive attitude
The sexual dimension is closely related to the mind. Daily life problems may affect sexual relationships. “We must prevent sexuality from being interfered with by work problems,” says Briet.
It is also important to free yourself – mentally and emotionally – from any negative prejudice towards sex . To do this, the expert urges giving greater importance to sexual fantasies in any context of daily life and more especially before, during and after sexual relations.
8) The frequency that the couple desires
There is no ideal frequency to have sexual relations. “The one that marks the age and desire of each couple. From one orgasm or more a day, to two or three a year, can be enough if the person considers it so,” says Casado.
The age at which a man is most powerful, and achieves maximum orgasms, is between 15 and 25 years old. On the other hand, the fullness of sexual life in women increases between 35 and 50 years of age.